There are so many lists out there, I thought I would make one. I intentionally left one word out of the title that might upset people but I hope you get a laugh out of it anyways. Ok, here goes….top 10 most annoying things said to a poker dealer.
10. Where’s the server? – I did call for her multiple times, sorry. Here take the deck and deal whatever you want, I’ll go grab your Pepsi with no ice. You know if you tip her more they come around more often? (Sometimes, I can’t help bad service. Wish some were better than others)
9. I needed a spade(club,six, king etc.) well obviously I saw what you needed when you disgustingly threw your hand face up at the river. Along those lines go, now you bring the heart, referring to the next flop, turn or river. Let’s replay that hand and see if you miss again.
8. When is the next dealer coming? You know I’m the only one required to be at the table? If I cost you sooo much money, you still haven’t learned to get up during my down? You could probably have saved yourself that 50k you claimed I took, or gave to the other players because you play bad.
7. One time! Over used, sometimes entertaining because if you say it on the flop and call the turn, you know damn well I’m gonna say 2 times. You only get one One time! That’s it, never again. Till the next time, and the next time.
6. Looking for pot A. What’s funny is that it’s usually not pot A. I’ve given you 3 other pots this down. I guess the requirement for pot A is a $600 cooler that you sucked out on.
5. What did he have? What was the last flop? Do I look like a hand history? I barely remember what I had for lunch. The job is so repetitive I was probably too busy living my life to remember what seat 6 raised with on the turn 3 hands ago.
4. Pick me! I get this one a lot on huge multiway pots. Listen buddy if I knew who to pick I would pick the best tipper every time, unless you have large breasts then i might pick her.
3. Who’s it on? Yep you know this guy, never pays attention. Take your damn Ritalin and pay attention to the game. Usually a good rule of thumb is, if you have to ask it’s probably on you.
2. Let’s hit the jackpot, or high hand or royal flush bonus or whatever promotion that pays lots of money because it’s so hard to hit. I will get right on that, because those are super easy. Hold on here is a lump of free money. Hey I’m with you, I get large tips from these promos so I would love to, but pretty safe bet that it’s not gonna happen.
1. Wanna hear a bad beat story? Ok those words don’t exactly come out, but that’s what I hear. It usually starts like this, so my kings ran into aces on the bubble…..trust me I’ve seen worse beats for much larger sums of cash. It’s ok though, tell your story I will just smile and nod. I’m not going anywhere(not by choice)
Just want to clear the air, I love you guys, my players are awesome and this just pokes a little fun at the most common sayings I hear every day.