Comebacks

I love to hear the interactions between grown men, or at least they are grown age wise. When money and pride is involved you hear a lot of idiotic things said back and forth. Most of the time it’s just one big mouth cry baby venting because he can’t handle losing. I’ve heard a couple of great comebacks this week and thought I should share a few.
Crybaby says “how could you call that bet” other guy says “what’s that? I can’t hear you over the sound of stacking your chips.” Conversation instantly over. Love it.
Once heard a guy say “I can play as bad as I want, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it.”
Player 1 “How did you call that?” Player 2, “I pushed my chips in, how else would I call it?”
Young punk kid on a tirade directed at large older guy. Older guy says nothing and gets up and grabs punk kid by the neck. Conversation over.
Dumb kid “are you sure that side pot is right?”. me-“I don’t go to mcdonalds and tell you how to do your job!” Kid-“what?!?” Me-“what?” Lol.
Fed up player- “You don’t tell me how to make my money, so don’t tell me how to spend it”.
Player one gets run down and says “time to play like an idiot then”. Player 2 says “I resemble that remark”.
If any of you have good comebacks post them in the comments.

5 thoughts on “Comebacks

  • July 22, 2014 at 6:44 am
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    I played a $550 buy in and a pretty well known Pro, with a successful wsop under his belt, sat down. He ended up in a hand with a very nice 50ish gentleman. The boad by the river was aces over sevens with the sevens pairing up on the river. The “Pro” had bet the flop, checked the turn, and bet the river. The Gentleman called down and after thinking for 30 secs called the river for a chopped pot. He turned over pocket threes which were good till the river filled with a higher full house. They chopped the pot. The “Pro” went ballistic. “how could you call me with that. You local idiots don’t know how to play poker. I can’t stand how dumb you are” etc. After 3-4 minutes of ranting, the gentleman said “that’s right I’m a Donkey and my gut didn’t believe you”. That really set off the “Pro”. He went on for 10 mins about his poker gut finally using the F Bomb twice. The Female dealer said ” sir there’s a lady at the table, please watch your language” looking at me. Pro looked at the dealer and said “I’m not an idiot I know that” and gave her a nasty look. So I finally said to him “the hand was over ten mins ago so let’s move on”. He kept mumbling and the same gentleman knocked him out 10 minutes after that. I love KHARMA

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  • July 22, 2014 at 8:14 am
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    I was playing in the Wildhorse Pendleton Roundup and was making a good run this time. Out of almost 300 players we were down to about 80 left. Across the table someone started talking to me and I looked up and he said “Are you a pro?” I looked back at him and said “No”, ” But I did sleep at a Holiday Inn last night.” The dealer looked at me and said laughing “That was good.” End of conversation. I should have not answered since I went out soon after and my table image was shot after that.

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  • August 8, 2014 at 10:32 am
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    Playing at Turning Stone, low-level cash game. Drunk kid comes in and starts throwing money around and talking shit to everyone every hand, which really ruined what up to that point had been a great table dynamic. Sits down and right away bitches about the buy-in limit. He wins a couple hands, which only makes him mouth off more. Finally another kid had enough, huge raise over the top. Call, two to the flop, they check down to the river which pairs kings on the board. Drunk kid checks, cool kid all-in. Drunk kid goes OFF. “No way he has it. No way some idiot in a fucking Ed Hardy t-shirt has it. Fifty bucks over the top says no way.” etc, etc. “Fine” kid says. Drunk kid mucks, cool kid turns over pocket kings. Of course drunk kid starts mumbling and cool kid gets on him. “Come on where’s my fifty bucks, you said fifty over the top, let’s have it.” No response.

    Stacking chips, cool kid says, “fine, don’t pay up. I already have enough of your money to get some more t-shirts.”

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  • November 22, 2014 at 12:27 pm
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    Here in Minnesota, most of the card rooms are small 4 to 6 table venues. Most dealers know, or at least recognize, the dealers from other MN casinos.

    One uneventful evening Joel (my floor) and I closed up shop after 4 hours of no action, with the hope we can catch the last few orbits at another card room. I take the 9 seat, and Joel the 10 seat, in a $2-$10 spread limit game, with Tony dealing. Joel keeps showing his cards to Tony as he mucks.

    Finally, I am in a hand when Joel, flashing his cards to Tony, says “What do you think?”
    Immediately I jokingly speak up, “One player per hand guys” and Tony without missing a beat “One dealer per table”

    lol good times, good times

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  • November 22, 2014 at 12:45 pm
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    I just can’t help myself… I have to share another one:

    This woman, asking all the new player questions, buys in short in a $4-$8 Kill game. Triples up on her very first hand, stiffs me…. no problem, she’s new. Wins next hand, stiffs again. Finally someone else wins, and I do the conspicuous “Thank you” routine, hoping she catches on. After about 3 hours, she says to me “Why do you never say thank you when I win?” … and before I can answer, one of the regulars “Because you’re not tipping”

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