Best Seats in the House

The dealers seat can be the best seat in the house. I get to see all the action go down on the table and around the table. Big hands, tough guys trading barbs, hot women in skimpy clothes walking by, crazy looking customers similar to Wal Mart customers. It’s also a great place to snoop on what the 1 and 9 seats are doing.

Most of the time it’s just glancing down to see them looking at their hand, poorly protected of course, because I can see it. Then watching how it all unfolds or folds, ha ha. My favorite is actually seeing what movie/show/video they are watching on their phone or tablet and try and figure it out. If I can’t figure it out I will just ask, I’m working on becoming an IMDB encyclopedia.

Some of the more provocative things I have see are texts back and forth of all kinds, sex, drugs, fights with the wife and of course naked pics. Sometimes they open up something and cover it real quick and some just don’t care who is watching and even show other people, including the dealer.

Tonight’s story starts with one of our loyal drunks. The guy that lives close enough to either take a cab, uber or walk home. I think I even heard him say that he rode his bike there once. I don’t recall a bike rack at the casino, maybe he valeted it. Anyways the guy is always drunk, not the fun drunk, but the my life is miserable that’s why I play 2-4 and get shit faced all the time drunk. He makes disgusting comments to the waitresses, he tries to argue with dealers about how shitty we are treating him, and making a fool of himself if there are any females at the table.

Well our buddy is in prime form tonight, and happens to be sitting in the 1 seat. He keeps playing with his phone, slowing down the action. I have to keep verbally reminding him it’s his turn since he can’t see me pointing at him. So of course I take a peek and see what he is looking at. Well our guy happens to be on instragram, looking at maybe family pics, then they turn weird. He starts looking up yoga pics and liking them. Then he starts looking up bikini pics and liking those too. I guess, when you need to get your fix of hot chicks to give yourself jerk off fuel later, you do what you gotta do.

Then of course a few minutes later I have to remind him it’s his turn. He puts the phone down quick, face up for my viewing pleasure. It looks like some dating site, looking at some young woman’s profile. He acts on his hand and then picks the phone up again. All of a sudden he is swiping left and right, over and over and over. I look down and it’s TINDER. WTF? Now lets give you a visual of our guy. About 5’9 140 pounds, balding, glasses, annoying voice, I would have to guess about 50 years old. I could be way off the way the guy abuses his body, but looks like 50’s. Is this guy seriously going to find someone to hook up with? And if he does, who? Is there just a pipeline of disgusting dirty old people on Tinder? Just like the nursing home orgies I keep reading about.

Moral of the story, someone can see your hand/phone in the 1 and the 9 seat, and it’s me. I find real life amusing, so thanks for the look into your lives, except that one guy, that guy made me throw up in my mouth, thanks.


Brought to you by Your Poker Dealer

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